As of this post I won't be using blogger

Made a switch - find me now on Wordpress

"Filtering the Bible", By Jack Marx

WARNING: High-levels of sarcasm and will offend fundamentalists, conservatives and various arrays of over-zealous fuckwits.

I have the utmost respect for this guy's talent... So, I decided to share this with you. Check it out if you want something mind-blowingly awesome.

http://blogs.news.com.au/jackmarxlive/index.php/news/comments/filtering_the_bible/P20/





Goodbye.

From the chapter entitled 'Markviticus'

My past experiences over the last few weeks in liaison with my rummagings through the jungles of the internet assisted by StumbleUpon as my nominated content filter I've come to realise the following things...


I don't care if religion works for people, the fact still remains in my head that it is self-contradictory and a mind-numbing placebo. Yes, where is this coming from? Let me share this experience... I met a girl who seemed really cool on the train one eve, and it turns out that she is a Jesus fanatic. I mean FANATIC. Brainwashed by the cyclical parables of bullshit, she denounces herself in her writings not to be worthy as a human of the Lord's sacrifice... Wait, I mean Jesus' sacrifice. Yeah, the one where he strung himself up on a cross and suffered...? Anyway, the point is that it saddens me to see human potential go to waste because a person is mentally and spiritually regimented by a book written by some bunch of guys thousands of years ago...

I mean, it's a lot like the many self-help programs like Dr.Phil and Oprah, along with the thousands of forums available online and ingested by millions of truncated numb-skulls who are too afraid to configure their own problems. Maybe they lack intelligence, maybe I lack moral fibre? I really don't know. I know this sounds and most probably is utterly cliche, but why don't we reference Maslow's Hierachy of needs here. I mean, Do you think that ANYONE who subjects their minds to doses of proverbial garbage is ever going to have the prowess to intrepidly break free of their religious opiates and achieve self-actualisation?

My opinion = No.

I tell myself never to preach to these people if I can subconsciously tell that they're off their tits on happiness because their daily dose of bible has given them renewed energy and meaning - I mean, good for them. Besides, to me being condescending and preaching, is just sadistic and cruel... It does astound me however when highly pious people continue to preach back to me just for being so individualistic... But I'm not going into the fallacies of religion here (I always seem to...).

I guess it just annoys me to know that their is hidden genius everywhere... But the inheritors of such genius are throwing it to waste at the price of some relief from the reality of existence... Or maybe at the price of writing pointless blogs... Wait... I didn't mean to call myself a genius...

Christ I'm bored.









Later.

Agenda Suicide

Sleep deprived from an epic week. That's a good summation of how I feel right now. Let me begin...

Monday - Six hours of collective study for my Marketing exam on Tuesday. It's fair to say, I think I aced it.

Tuesday - Mid-semester for Marketing 101. I arrived at uni, and had to buy a lead pencil. Yaaaaaaay. Pretty boring day. Got home, tried to study for economics the next day, but failed dismally.

Wednesday - Aside from the outcome of my economics exam (who would of thought 1 hour of multiple choice would be my idea of hell...), I had a pretty cool day. I got to uni around 12ish and met up with Xander and Tim... We had lunch @ market city, and had a look at the new street fighter (it looks pretty awesome). Upon walking to the exam at the piece of shit that is Wentworth Park, Tim was giving Xander shit by saying that if Xander was ever in a movie, he'd be nothing more than a Side-kick or an extra. Dunno why I found this funny, but it was.

On the way home... The funniest shit happened on the train. I'm pretty sure the train driver was under the influence of something because he couldn't quite manage to park a 6-car train (yes, the short one) neatly next to the platform... He over-shot half of it... and this was the hilarious end result:


Me and this other dude next to me started pissing ourselves laughing... Because one dude went to walk out of the train autonomously when the doors opened and he nearly fell onto the railway tracks.

Turns out the guy was pretty cool... Some dude named Mitch, goes to ACU, same age as me and shit... The journey home is always shorter when you get talking to someone.

Thursday - Spent 9-5 at work... Which sucked. I felt like shit when I got home... I actually puked up coffee, which was awesome. Well done Nescafe, you make a quality grind. But after I puked, I felt good again... Haha... (I think what happened was that I didn't rinse my mug out properly at work, hence I probably mixed in some detergent with my coffee -- delicious... MmmMmmm).

I forgot I was going to see The Faint @ the Metro (hence the title), so my shit day was redeemed by an awesome night in the city. Met up with Laura and Amy... Hit up the pizza hut buffet on George, took some cheesy photo's in those Asian things in the arcade and then went to the gig. I must say, if you haven't heard The Faint and want a good dose of big-beat electro then download some of their tracks... Awesome band to see live.

Got home at like 1.30am, woke up at 6am for yet another day at work... YEAH!!!! Which brings me to Friday...

Friday - As mentioned above, got up waaaaay too early, not enough sleep and now I'm writing this to keep me occupied seeing as work is dead. On the plus side, I have the Sharks vs. Storm game to look forward to... and sleep.

And now I'm gonna leave you with a picture of my puppy. This photo makes me laugh, no idea why... Probably because I'm used to seeing pictures of LOLcats with the caption "I Can HaZ CheeZburgeR!?!?!"




Later.

Excerpts of awesome...

So yeah, two blogs in one day isn't really like me but I've decided to quote some previous shit from my myspace blog that i'm proud of writing... if you want a direct link fuck you just look at my myspace page... You may find some of it funny, you may find some of it offensive... haha... either way... some excerpts:



How much I hated Kevin Rudd and his cronies during the "Kevin '07" electoral campaign:

"...Justification = 'In touch with the people'? what the fuck... The reason why leaders of government are conservative? Here's one off the top of my head... Meeting with other world leaders of strict cultural background, highly pious and easily offended. How would the dalai lama take to meeting a bogain-esque PM, sleazy and well-known for his drunken notoriety? Ha. "He's only human" - Sure, but he's the direct converyance of an indignant nation.

Also, here's another one for you intellectually impaired leftist wannabes - You will to vote Labour solely on behalf of Howard's desicion to send troops to Iraq. Fair enough - but this is the part i don't understand. You're all for human rights, but you don't watch a minute of the fucking news nor do you care that at least 100+ innocent people were obliviated in a truck bombing this month in Iraq. Truth is, you couldn't give a shit about any other race and it's all just pretence because your 'Golden boys' are having to work on the front line. This ain't WWII, It's not a war between good and evil - It's a clash of religious ethics, "Bullshit vs. Bullshit".

If you vote against the Liberals because they made the call on Iraq, you're a hypocrite, and racially prejudicial. You're just as racist on your home soil as you are overseas, so shut the fuck up and stop acting like you care that there's a war going on.

One more thing, Labour voters claim they're so left-wing, yet Rudd's policies suggest nothing but a Unionist dictatorship. Let's support an agenda that will tear apart workplace infrastructure at the discretion of unionist thugs... Wow, you thought that one through. Where's the equality in that?

But John Howard is a "puppet of America"? HA! You're sense of national pride is just as imperious as Southern America's blinding sense of patriotism. You will keep rubbing your Southern cross tattoo's, car stickers and miniature flags in the faces of anyone of a different ethnic background despite any democratic changes. Regardless of who leads our country, you will still remain as shallow, conceited and racist.

But hey, fuck our country up even further by voting Labour - I'll sit back and watch as your beloved Australian flag changes to emulate the chinese communist high-flyer."

A funny dream I had once:

"...Mitchell and myself were fishing in the cold hours of the morning in a desolate harbour (bearing a slight resemblance to a wharf in Darling Harbour but my recognition is extremely vague) ... Anyway, we're fishing next to a buoy, shrouded in a ghostly fog when suddenly Mitch points out a large white figure shifting restlessly on the calm surface of the dark, watery abyss. "Looks like a hungry Polar bear" said Mitch inquisitively. "Do you think it'll drift closer to us...?" I said, sounding panic-stricken "Nah, it'll probably continue over to that glacier". He pointed to the glorified glacier, which seemed to suddenly apparate through the dense fog and appear about 500 metres in front of us..."

My take on 'clubbing':

"...It's a term used way too loosely... When people say to each other, "OMFGZzZz let's go clubbing!!!!1!!" They generally think of this:

Call me old fashioned but... If someone mentioned 'clubbing' to me I'd think of something along the lines of this:

...."

Here's one for the philosophical... I think I drank too much coffee when I wrote this:

"Unless a man has talents to make something of himself, freedom is an irksome burden. Of what avail is freedom to choose if the self be ineffectual? We join a mass movement to escape individual responsibility, or, in the words of the ardent young Nazi, "to be free from freedom." It was not sheer hypocrisy when the rank-and-file Nazis declared themselves not guilty of all the enormities they had committed. They considered themselves cheated and maligned when made to shoulder responsibility for obeying orders. Had they not joined the Nazi movement in order to be free from responsibility?"

...And what about the common anarchist, aren't they just as absurd and inimical in their dejection of responsibility? Their cause is completely paradox, and if they were to gain the freedom they have crusaded for what would they do with it? Who would take the reigns of a movement whose collective ideology is to abandon individual responsibilty...? If they want a political revolution, someone needs to accept the responsibility of leadership. Subjugation of their political oppressors will in turn, also imply a distribution of responsibility. How stupid can you get... You join the ranks, become an anarchist and declare your apathy for social structures, parade around with a political motive indicative of your self-abandonment and fear of obligation only to find out you're pushing for a cause that if, speculatively speaking, comes into effect will suppress the notion of abandonment and pave the way for a new structured hierachy of responsibility to meet the demands of social and political necessities - FORCING upon you, some type of individual responsibility. But hey, the common anarchist won't see the folly partaking in such a movement, let alone realise why they found it so appealing in the first place.

...And that's my two cent culmination with Eric Hoffer's quote."

On extremist feminism:

"Feminism - If you express this view liberally, I'm cool with that... But there's a fine line to be cautious of when vehemently expressing your views. It's when you Riot Grrrl's cross over into this territory e.g. 'Society for Cutting Up Men' Manifesto, that I begin to question the integrity of your misandrous motives. Misdandry...? What, you've never heard of it? It's the other half of gender prejudice that fails to gain media attention. To me, modern day feminism resembles the situation with the 'stolen' generation - Regardless of the situation with equal rights nowadays, you feminists still act as if you're hard done by... Even though the 'glass ceiling' began to die out in the late 80's/ early 90's. I guess that the government should say sorry too, on behalf of the male population for the injustices served up to women throughout the preceding century. Well, despite the fact that a woman is now Deputy prime minister in our country, and aphoristically Hilary Clinton is one step away from U.S presidency, without further attestation to you I say "Sorry" on behalf of my scumbag misogynistic, ancestral brothers (argumentatively I've done nothing wrong, but it's still my fault 'cos I'm male)."

On 'Aussie' pride:

"...'Aussie' supremacists - There is a difference between taking harmless pride in your nation and treating other ethnic groups like inferior pieces of shit."

Ahhh... The memories....

I will release a 'shit list' after exams at some point... It will tell you what to believe, and why... Ha. Yeah it's inspired by the L7 song I've become infatuated with... But, who gives a shit... Haha.





Later.

Sympathy for the salesman...

You're probably thinking, "what the hell is with the title...?"

Well, this entry from my office (seeing as I'm unwinding from this job and entering a new one) is concerned mainly with the events that preceded approximately 10 minutes ago when I was eating lunch upstairs... Someone left the door open, and behold, an uninvited salesman from Citibank waltzes through the door acting like he is fucking Santa Claus with a glorious gift of "lower interest rates" to give me...

"Hi sir, my name is Ryan from Citibank and I'm here to save you from the burden of interest rates..."

"Uhhh... yeah... ummm Hi Ryan... Did you knoc--"

"--I can slash your interest rates in half! Are you the owner of the business sir? How old are you...?"

At this point in time standing in utter bewilderment, staring into the eyes of a cold, expressionless sales-bot, I'm thinking to myself... 'Has this guy become so apparently autonomous in his salvers demeanour that he has blanked out any inkling of a personality, let alone common logic? Number one, do I look old enough to own a house and to be paying a mortgage? And number two... Do I look like the owner of a 30 million dollar + p/year business...? Although I'm currently wearing glasses, I'm not Bill Gates...'

I stood there, searching deep within for a snide remark but was bereft of all wit. And then he came out with the puppy dog expression... "What's the matter, don't you like me...?"

Wow. Two whole minutes standing in front of this computerized human and I felt guilty... He had fulfilled his duty as a salesman... He planted the dreaded seed of guilt. I mean, he did seem genuine... He was supposedly from Citibank, was decked out in a pinstripe suit and he even had a red lanyard around his neck with what appeared to be a company declaration tag.... The fact remains, he was exceptionally good. Two minutes alone with the man and he's making me want to shoot myself because I've been an asshole for not responding to this 'gift' he wanted to give me.

... Pushing my emotions to the side and snapping out of the guilt induced trance I snapped "Don't you think you should knock before you proceed to enter someone else's office? Clearly that tactic will piss a lot of people off... I'm 19, I don't care about interest rates let alone do I own a house. If you're really concerned about marketing your proposition you'll wait until the actual Business Manager returns from lunch... And I don't think he'll be too pleased in knowing that you abruptly entered the premises without welcome..."

Yeah, I shot that mutherfucker down.... But then he decides to play the card of condescension... And again, I was stunned at the way he weaselled into my mind with his bullshit...

"You're 19, yeah? Do you have an interest in marketing???"

"Uhhh -- Yeah... I study marketing at unive--"

"--Brilliant, then you'll appreciate that what I'm doing then is simply appealing directly to the demographic... There are two types of marketing... Direct and Indirect.... Why is direct the most successful?? Because you get an invaluable insight into the minds of your customers... Which is why I am here in person to help you today... Would you rather not find out about interest rates from a nice guy like me rather than a computer? I can cut you a deal..."

Before I could bite back Jessie walks up stairs returning from her lunch... He turns his attention to her and begins to prey... Anyway, eventually we got the bastard out of the office, but fuck... The guy was so good at bullshitting, he could have been a hypnotist... Or a writer of the Old Testament... BAM! I went there...

Anyway, I felt sorry for that toolbag because I empathise with the fact that he too has to make a living... Even if it is somewhat morally criminal... There was no fucking way he was with Citibank, but for 2 minutes he was capitalizing on my state of uncertainty... And in some ways, I dig that... It's the type of manipulation that has a high win rate. You can't teach that... You either have it, or you don't. And if you do have it, you are highly dangerous because with the amount of gullible people on this earth the potential to get what you want with this ubiquitous ability is limitless -- hence why people see the evil in sales, ha.

Later.

Spring is here again... Reproductive glands?

What better way to start a blog than to acknowledge the beautiful yet ironic symbolism of the cycle of spring and the season where nature reproduces through the lyrical genius of Kurt Cobain -- Woah... That made me sound like I am fifteen all over again... But really, Spring is here and the weather has been incredible... In fact, you could say that the repetitive nature of nature makes for monochromatic recurrences!! Oh how lame...

Shit, yeah... But really... Been happy with the weather lately.. It's awesome... But a bit more of a cool breeze could'nt hurt anybody could it?

Today was extremely productive... Tiring, but productive. I had the job interview today which I felt went extremely well... Fingers crossed that they took a shine to me, haha. I really enjoyed the atmosphere of the office which was cool... anyway... programming was such a bore. Nothing worse than spending a warm sunny day inside, prisoner to your academic commitments, badgering through a myriad of code and crap and junk... I'm not the biggest fan of Java. The truth is, you can study the stuff all you want and think that you know it inside out... But at the end of the day it means dick all without practical application. Hence the eternal struggle of staring at a blank computer screen waiting to initialise the first instance or method... Yuck.

I'd like to be able to talk about something that isn't affiliated in any way with university.. But I'm finding it hard right now given the mid-semester snowball that's engulfing the entire BscIT form... w00! Oh yeah I get to see The Faint soon... Fuck yeah!

What else? hmmm...

Oh and I got hooked up with this estranged breed of online comic... I think it's a rather good graphical summation of my odd sense of humour... Haha. I'll leave you with a few before I start rambling on about other useless events of mediocrity:



Goodnight.