Sympathy for the salesman...

You're probably thinking, "what the hell is with the title...?"

Well, this entry from my office (seeing as I'm unwinding from this job and entering a new one) is concerned mainly with the events that preceded approximately 10 minutes ago when I was eating lunch upstairs... Someone left the door open, and behold, an uninvited salesman from Citibank waltzes through the door acting like he is fucking Santa Claus with a glorious gift of "lower interest rates" to give me...

"Hi sir, my name is Ryan from Citibank and I'm here to save you from the burden of interest rates..."

"Uhhh... yeah... ummm Hi Ryan... Did you knoc--"

"--I can slash your interest rates in half! Are you the owner of the business sir? How old are you...?"

At this point in time standing in utter bewilderment, staring into the eyes of a cold, expressionless sales-bot, I'm thinking to myself... 'Has this guy become so apparently autonomous in his salvers demeanour that he has blanked out any inkling of a personality, let alone common logic? Number one, do I look old enough to own a house and to be paying a mortgage? And number two... Do I look like the owner of a 30 million dollar + p/year business...? Although I'm currently wearing glasses, I'm not Bill Gates...'

I stood there, searching deep within for a snide remark but was bereft of all wit. And then he came out with the puppy dog expression... "What's the matter, don't you like me...?"

Wow. Two whole minutes standing in front of this computerized human and I felt guilty... He had fulfilled his duty as a salesman... He planted the dreaded seed of guilt. I mean, he did seem genuine... He was supposedly from Citibank, was decked out in a pinstripe suit and he even had a red lanyard around his neck with what appeared to be a company declaration tag.... The fact remains, he was exceptionally good. Two minutes alone with the man and he's making me want to shoot myself because I've been an asshole for not responding to this 'gift' he wanted to give me.

... Pushing my emotions to the side and snapping out of the guilt induced trance I snapped "Don't you think you should knock before you proceed to enter someone else's office? Clearly that tactic will piss a lot of people off... I'm 19, I don't care about interest rates let alone do I own a house. If you're really concerned about marketing your proposition you'll wait until the actual Business Manager returns from lunch... And I don't think he'll be too pleased in knowing that you abruptly entered the premises without welcome..."

Yeah, I shot that mutherfucker down.... But then he decides to play the card of condescension... And again, I was stunned at the way he weaselled into my mind with his bullshit...

"You're 19, yeah? Do you have an interest in marketing???"

"Uhhh -- Yeah... I study marketing at unive--"

"--Brilliant, then you'll appreciate that what I'm doing then is simply appealing directly to the demographic... There are two types of marketing... Direct and Indirect.... Why is direct the most successful?? Because you get an invaluable insight into the minds of your customers... Which is why I am here in person to help you today... Would you rather not find out about interest rates from a nice guy like me rather than a computer? I can cut you a deal..."

Before I could bite back Jessie walks up stairs returning from her lunch... He turns his attention to her and begins to prey... Anyway, eventually we got the bastard out of the office, but fuck... The guy was so good at bullshitting, he could have been a hypnotist... Or a writer of the Old Testament... BAM! I went there...

Anyway, I felt sorry for that toolbag because I empathise with the fact that he too has to make a living... Even if it is somewhat morally criminal... There was no fucking way he was with Citibank, but for 2 minutes he was capitalizing on my state of uncertainty... And in some ways, I dig that... It's the type of manipulation that has a high win rate. You can't teach that... You either have it, or you don't. And if you do have it, you are highly dangerous because with the amount of gullible people on this earth the potential to get what you want with this ubiquitous ability is limitless -- hence why people see the evil in sales, ha.

Later.