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"Filtering the Bible", By Jack Marx

WARNING: High-levels of sarcasm and will offend fundamentalists, conservatives and various arrays of over-zealous fuckwits.

I have the utmost respect for this guy's talent... So, I decided to share this with you. Check it out if you want something mind-blowingly awesome.

http://blogs.news.com.au/jackmarxlive/index.php/news/comments/filtering_the_bible/P20/





Goodbye.

From the chapter entitled 'Markviticus'

My past experiences over the last few weeks in liaison with my rummagings through the jungles of the internet assisted by StumbleUpon as my nominated content filter I've come to realise the following things...


I don't care if religion works for people, the fact still remains in my head that it is self-contradictory and a mind-numbing placebo. Yes, where is this coming from? Let me share this experience... I met a girl who seemed really cool on the train one eve, and it turns out that she is a Jesus fanatic. I mean FANATIC. Brainwashed by the cyclical parables of bullshit, she denounces herself in her writings not to be worthy as a human of the Lord's sacrifice... Wait, I mean Jesus' sacrifice. Yeah, the one where he strung himself up on a cross and suffered...? Anyway, the point is that it saddens me to see human potential go to waste because a person is mentally and spiritually regimented by a book written by some bunch of guys thousands of years ago...

I mean, it's a lot like the many self-help programs like Dr.Phil and Oprah, along with the thousands of forums available online and ingested by millions of truncated numb-skulls who are too afraid to configure their own problems. Maybe they lack intelligence, maybe I lack moral fibre? I really don't know. I know this sounds and most probably is utterly cliche, but why don't we reference Maslow's Hierachy of needs here. I mean, Do you think that ANYONE who subjects their minds to doses of proverbial garbage is ever going to have the prowess to intrepidly break free of their religious opiates and achieve self-actualisation?

My opinion = No.

I tell myself never to preach to these people if I can subconsciously tell that they're off their tits on happiness because their daily dose of bible has given them renewed energy and meaning - I mean, good for them. Besides, to me being condescending and preaching, is just sadistic and cruel... It does astound me however when highly pious people continue to preach back to me just for being so individualistic... But I'm not going into the fallacies of religion here (I always seem to...).

I guess it just annoys me to know that their is hidden genius everywhere... But the inheritors of such genius are throwing it to waste at the price of some relief from the reality of existence... Or maybe at the price of writing pointless blogs... Wait... I didn't mean to call myself a genius...

Christ I'm bored.









Later.

Agenda Suicide

Sleep deprived from an epic week. That's a good summation of how I feel right now. Let me begin...

Monday - Six hours of collective study for my Marketing exam on Tuesday. It's fair to say, I think I aced it.

Tuesday - Mid-semester for Marketing 101. I arrived at uni, and had to buy a lead pencil. Yaaaaaaay. Pretty boring day. Got home, tried to study for economics the next day, but failed dismally.

Wednesday - Aside from the outcome of my economics exam (who would of thought 1 hour of multiple choice would be my idea of hell...), I had a pretty cool day. I got to uni around 12ish and met up with Xander and Tim... We had lunch @ market city, and had a look at the new street fighter (it looks pretty awesome). Upon walking to the exam at the piece of shit that is Wentworth Park, Tim was giving Xander shit by saying that if Xander was ever in a movie, he'd be nothing more than a Side-kick or an extra. Dunno why I found this funny, but it was.

On the way home... The funniest shit happened on the train. I'm pretty sure the train driver was under the influence of something because he couldn't quite manage to park a 6-car train (yes, the short one) neatly next to the platform... He over-shot half of it... and this was the hilarious end result:


Me and this other dude next to me started pissing ourselves laughing... Because one dude went to walk out of the train autonomously when the doors opened and he nearly fell onto the railway tracks.

Turns out the guy was pretty cool... Some dude named Mitch, goes to ACU, same age as me and shit... The journey home is always shorter when you get talking to someone.

Thursday - Spent 9-5 at work... Which sucked. I felt like shit when I got home... I actually puked up coffee, which was awesome. Well done Nescafe, you make a quality grind. But after I puked, I felt good again... Haha... (I think what happened was that I didn't rinse my mug out properly at work, hence I probably mixed in some detergent with my coffee -- delicious... MmmMmmm).

I forgot I was going to see The Faint @ the Metro (hence the title), so my shit day was redeemed by an awesome night in the city. Met up with Laura and Amy... Hit up the pizza hut buffet on George, took some cheesy photo's in those Asian things in the arcade and then went to the gig. I must say, if you haven't heard The Faint and want a good dose of big-beat electro then download some of their tracks... Awesome band to see live.

Got home at like 1.30am, woke up at 6am for yet another day at work... YEAH!!!! Which brings me to Friday...

Friday - As mentioned above, got up waaaaay too early, not enough sleep and now I'm writing this to keep me occupied seeing as work is dead. On the plus side, I have the Sharks vs. Storm game to look forward to... and sleep.

And now I'm gonna leave you with a picture of my puppy. This photo makes me laugh, no idea why... Probably because I'm used to seeing pictures of LOLcats with the caption "I Can HaZ CheeZburgeR!?!?!"




Later.

Excerpts of awesome...

So yeah, two blogs in one day isn't really like me but I've decided to quote some previous shit from my myspace blog that i'm proud of writing... if you want a direct link fuck you just look at my myspace page... You may find some of it funny, you may find some of it offensive... haha... either way... some excerpts:



How much I hated Kevin Rudd and his cronies during the "Kevin '07" electoral campaign:

"...Justification = 'In touch with the people'? what the fuck... The reason why leaders of government are conservative? Here's one off the top of my head... Meeting with other world leaders of strict cultural background, highly pious and easily offended. How would the dalai lama take to meeting a bogain-esque PM, sleazy and well-known for his drunken notoriety? Ha. "He's only human" - Sure, but he's the direct converyance of an indignant nation.

Also, here's another one for you intellectually impaired leftist wannabes - You will to vote Labour solely on behalf of Howard's desicion to send troops to Iraq. Fair enough - but this is the part i don't understand. You're all for human rights, but you don't watch a minute of the fucking news nor do you care that at least 100+ innocent people were obliviated in a truck bombing this month in Iraq. Truth is, you couldn't give a shit about any other race and it's all just pretence because your 'Golden boys' are having to work on the front line. This ain't WWII, It's not a war between good and evil - It's a clash of religious ethics, "Bullshit vs. Bullshit".

If you vote against the Liberals because they made the call on Iraq, you're a hypocrite, and racially prejudicial. You're just as racist on your home soil as you are overseas, so shut the fuck up and stop acting like you care that there's a war going on.

One more thing, Labour voters claim they're so left-wing, yet Rudd's policies suggest nothing but a Unionist dictatorship. Let's support an agenda that will tear apart workplace infrastructure at the discretion of unionist thugs... Wow, you thought that one through. Where's the equality in that?

But John Howard is a "puppet of America"? HA! You're sense of national pride is just as imperious as Southern America's blinding sense of patriotism. You will keep rubbing your Southern cross tattoo's, car stickers and miniature flags in the faces of anyone of a different ethnic background despite any democratic changes. Regardless of who leads our country, you will still remain as shallow, conceited and racist.

But hey, fuck our country up even further by voting Labour - I'll sit back and watch as your beloved Australian flag changes to emulate the chinese communist high-flyer."

A funny dream I had once:

"...Mitchell and myself were fishing in the cold hours of the morning in a desolate harbour (bearing a slight resemblance to a wharf in Darling Harbour but my recognition is extremely vague) ... Anyway, we're fishing next to a buoy, shrouded in a ghostly fog when suddenly Mitch points out a large white figure shifting restlessly on the calm surface of the dark, watery abyss. "Looks like a hungry Polar bear" said Mitch inquisitively. "Do you think it'll drift closer to us...?" I said, sounding panic-stricken "Nah, it'll probably continue over to that glacier". He pointed to the glorified glacier, which seemed to suddenly apparate through the dense fog and appear about 500 metres in front of us..."

My take on 'clubbing':

"...It's a term used way too loosely... When people say to each other, "OMFGZzZz let's go clubbing!!!!1!!" They generally think of this:

Call me old fashioned but... If someone mentioned 'clubbing' to me I'd think of something along the lines of this:

...."

Here's one for the philosophical... I think I drank too much coffee when I wrote this:

"Unless a man has talents to make something of himself, freedom is an irksome burden. Of what avail is freedom to choose if the self be ineffectual? We join a mass movement to escape individual responsibility, or, in the words of the ardent young Nazi, "to be free from freedom." It was not sheer hypocrisy when the rank-and-file Nazis declared themselves not guilty of all the enormities they had committed. They considered themselves cheated and maligned when made to shoulder responsibility for obeying orders. Had they not joined the Nazi movement in order to be free from responsibility?"

...And what about the common anarchist, aren't they just as absurd and inimical in their dejection of responsibility? Their cause is completely paradox, and if they were to gain the freedom they have crusaded for what would they do with it? Who would take the reigns of a movement whose collective ideology is to abandon individual responsibilty...? If they want a political revolution, someone needs to accept the responsibility of leadership. Subjugation of their political oppressors will in turn, also imply a distribution of responsibility. How stupid can you get... You join the ranks, become an anarchist and declare your apathy for social structures, parade around with a political motive indicative of your self-abandonment and fear of obligation only to find out you're pushing for a cause that if, speculatively speaking, comes into effect will suppress the notion of abandonment and pave the way for a new structured hierachy of responsibility to meet the demands of social and political necessities - FORCING upon you, some type of individual responsibility. But hey, the common anarchist won't see the folly partaking in such a movement, let alone realise why they found it so appealing in the first place.

...And that's my two cent culmination with Eric Hoffer's quote."

On extremist feminism:

"Feminism - If you express this view liberally, I'm cool with that... But there's a fine line to be cautious of when vehemently expressing your views. It's when you Riot Grrrl's cross over into this territory e.g. 'Society for Cutting Up Men' Manifesto, that I begin to question the integrity of your misandrous motives. Misdandry...? What, you've never heard of it? It's the other half of gender prejudice that fails to gain media attention. To me, modern day feminism resembles the situation with the 'stolen' generation - Regardless of the situation with equal rights nowadays, you feminists still act as if you're hard done by... Even though the 'glass ceiling' began to die out in the late 80's/ early 90's. I guess that the government should say sorry too, on behalf of the male population for the injustices served up to women throughout the preceding century. Well, despite the fact that a woman is now Deputy prime minister in our country, and aphoristically Hilary Clinton is one step away from U.S presidency, without further attestation to you I say "Sorry" on behalf of my scumbag misogynistic, ancestral brothers (argumentatively I've done nothing wrong, but it's still my fault 'cos I'm male)."

On 'Aussie' pride:

"...'Aussie' supremacists - There is a difference between taking harmless pride in your nation and treating other ethnic groups like inferior pieces of shit."

Ahhh... The memories....

I will release a 'shit list' after exams at some point... It will tell you what to believe, and why... Ha. Yeah it's inspired by the L7 song I've become infatuated with... But, who gives a shit... Haha.





Later.

Sympathy for the salesman...

You're probably thinking, "what the hell is with the title...?"

Well, this entry from my office (seeing as I'm unwinding from this job and entering a new one) is concerned mainly with the events that preceded approximately 10 minutes ago when I was eating lunch upstairs... Someone left the door open, and behold, an uninvited salesman from Citibank waltzes through the door acting like he is fucking Santa Claus with a glorious gift of "lower interest rates" to give me...

"Hi sir, my name is Ryan from Citibank and I'm here to save you from the burden of interest rates..."

"Uhhh... yeah... ummm Hi Ryan... Did you knoc--"

"--I can slash your interest rates in half! Are you the owner of the business sir? How old are you...?"

At this point in time standing in utter bewilderment, staring into the eyes of a cold, expressionless sales-bot, I'm thinking to myself... 'Has this guy become so apparently autonomous in his salvers demeanour that he has blanked out any inkling of a personality, let alone common logic? Number one, do I look old enough to own a house and to be paying a mortgage? And number two... Do I look like the owner of a 30 million dollar + p/year business...? Although I'm currently wearing glasses, I'm not Bill Gates...'

I stood there, searching deep within for a snide remark but was bereft of all wit. And then he came out with the puppy dog expression... "What's the matter, don't you like me...?"

Wow. Two whole minutes standing in front of this computerized human and I felt guilty... He had fulfilled his duty as a salesman... He planted the dreaded seed of guilt. I mean, he did seem genuine... He was supposedly from Citibank, was decked out in a pinstripe suit and he even had a red lanyard around his neck with what appeared to be a company declaration tag.... The fact remains, he was exceptionally good. Two minutes alone with the man and he's making me want to shoot myself because I've been an asshole for not responding to this 'gift' he wanted to give me.

... Pushing my emotions to the side and snapping out of the guilt induced trance I snapped "Don't you think you should knock before you proceed to enter someone else's office? Clearly that tactic will piss a lot of people off... I'm 19, I don't care about interest rates let alone do I own a house. If you're really concerned about marketing your proposition you'll wait until the actual Business Manager returns from lunch... And I don't think he'll be too pleased in knowing that you abruptly entered the premises without welcome..."

Yeah, I shot that mutherfucker down.... But then he decides to play the card of condescension... And again, I was stunned at the way he weaselled into my mind with his bullshit...

"You're 19, yeah? Do you have an interest in marketing???"

"Uhhh -- Yeah... I study marketing at unive--"

"--Brilliant, then you'll appreciate that what I'm doing then is simply appealing directly to the demographic... There are two types of marketing... Direct and Indirect.... Why is direct the most successful?? Because you get an invaluable insight into the minds of your customers... Which is why I am here in person to help you today... Would you rather not find out about interest rates from a nice guy like me rather than a computer? I can cut you a deal..."

Before I could bite back Jessie walks up stairs returning from her lunch... He turns his attention to her and begins to prey... Anyway, eventually we got the bastard out of the office, but fuck... The guy was so good at bullshitting, he could have been a hypnotist... Or a writer of the Old Testament... BAM! I went there...

Anyway, I felt sorry for that toolbag because I empathise with the fact that he too has to make a living... Even if it is somewhat morally criminal... There was no fucking way he was with Citibank, but for 2 minutes he was capitalizing on my state of uncertainty... And in some ways, I dig that... It's the type of manipulation that has a high win rate. You can't teach that... You either have it, or you don't. And if you do have it, you are highly dangerous because with the amount of gullible people on this earth the potential to get what you want with this ubiquitous ability is limitless -- hence why people see the evil in sales, ha.

Later.

Spring is here again... Reproductive glands?

What better way to start a blog than to acknowledge the beautiful yet ironic symbolism of the cycle of spring and the season where nature reproduces through the lyrical genius of Kurt Cobain -- Woah... That made me sound like I am fifteen all over again... But really, Spring is here and the weather has been incredible... In fact, you could say that the repetitive nature of nature makes for monochromatic recurrences!! Oh how lame...

Shit, yeah... But really... Been happy with the weather lately.. It's awesome... But a bit more of a cool breeze could'nt hurt anybody could it?

Today was extremely productive... Tiring, but productive. I had the job interview today which I felt went extremely well... Fingers crossed that they took a shine to me, haha. I really enjoyed the atmosphere of the office which was cool... anyway... programming was such a bore. Nothing worse than spending a warm sunny day inside, prisoner to your academic commitments, badgering through a myriad of code and crap and junk... I'm not the biggest fan of Java. The truth is, you can study the stuff all you want and think that you know it inside out... But at the end of the day it means dick all without practical application. Hence the eternal struggle of staring at a blank computer screen waiting to initialise the first instance or method... Yuck.

I'd like to be able to talk about something that isn't affiliated in any way with university.. But I'm finding it hard right now given the mid-semester snowball that's engulfing the entire BscIT form... w00! Oh yeah I get to see The Faint soon... Fuck yeah!

What else? hmmm...

Oh and I got hooked up with this estranged breed of online comic... I think it's a rather good graphical summation of my odd sense of humour... Haha. I'll leave you with a few before I start rambling on about other useless events of mediocrity:



Goodnight.

No motivation.

The great sin of 'sloth' comprises the crux of my being right now. How cool is that? Not really when you have a 30 hour programming assignment you should be working on because it's due in about 5-6 days and you have'nt started... Everyone seems to have a drive at the moment... Maybe I notice it more because the people I hang out with at uni engross themselves in their assignments... Basically it sux. I'm in limbo right now and I can't quite grasp the motivation to do my work but at the same time I'm freaking out on the inside... All the while I come across as cool as a cucumber given my current predicament. I think I must come across that way because there is soooo much shit I should be doing right now, it's so overwhelming I'm beyond overwhelmed... hahaha... I dunno.

Friday night was weird... Funny, but weird. I have a video of some drunken antics last night involving me being a tool to post on here eventually when Adam uploads the footage onto Facebook... Anyway...

Friday was an extremely unproductive day, I mean... I look back on it now and I think "what the hell was I thinking?!? Do some fucking work!!!!" It started off with websystems... Which I ended up ditching to go and play a prank on Lenny with a guy I just met, Tim... The plan was that Tim and I were 'pissed' off at Lenny for being rude to everyone, so we decided to stage an intervention aiming to make Lenny believe that he was bad-mouthing us in front of everyone... Either way, the outcome was hilarious because Lenny actually believed the things we were telling him... haha, guess you had to be there... Poor, poor gullible Leonard Barretto....

After Websystems, I got a call for a job interview on Monday which was cool. So, in a good mood i marched into my programming tute with extraordinary confidence but low and behold the realisation of my fickle situation with the subject hit me hard. But whatever, I had better things to do so I left early to catch a train home to meet up with Laura and Tim...

I arrived home, scoffed down some pasta for dinner, chucked fresh clothes on and got ready for the big night. As we were driving down to Wollongong, I was knocking back a beer or two in the back seat... Just enjoying the scenery I guess, and then we arrived.

The vibe was good, everyone was out the front of the house enjoying the Spring weather and the general consensus of people were boozed. After settling in, everyone bagan mingling in their drunken states. I only drank a 6 pack of beer so I was feeling fairly happy... Until I saw this douchebag I didn't like... I'm not one for confrontation, but I was in the mood for something different. So I leave a few of my mates mid-conversation, walk over to him and tell him that he's a douchebag. Then an argument ensued, and I laughed a little on the inside (everyone else was actually laughing with me, seeing as only about 3 people like the guy -- he steals everyone's booze... But doesn't bring his own. You don't do that, haha). Anyway, the rest of the night consisted of Taylar passing out on the front lawn, me playing the role of crowd control and Tim, Laura and Mel trying to stuff him into a car. Goooooooooooooood times... haha, nah but there were some funny moments -- like the video I'll post eventually. Anyway, back to programming...

Later.

Bizarre marketing... anyone?

If you weren't aware already, the company I work for is an import and export company specialising in product development - however the generic description would simply entail a vague definition of a retail-supply entity.

Anyway, one of the niche's we cover is flash/memory - to be specific, USB memory sticks, SD memory cards and other computer peripherals and accessories.

Now, the Chinese/Taiwanese have been known to make ANYTHING but I have never seen a USB drive as bizarre as this (remember we are expected to sell such items to our major clients - Woolworths, Big W and Dick Smith Electronics:



I love how the crucifix is under the guise of the official USB certified logo... Let alone the fact that the product is marketing 'data protection' via religious paraphernalia. There's only one transcendent being who could protect your data this well... and it's not Mr. T...

...Guess who.

I bet this puppy would sell like shit off a shovel in Mexico....


Later.

Should be doing an economics quiz but...

Rationalism - the very form of philosophy that neutralizes and brings together harmoniously the contempt of the cynic and the spirtely language of the optimist. A frame of mind so apparently simple, yet so distant to many who fail to grasp the concept of looking at the world from the outside in. It all starts with a dichotomy of mind set... Some people shift themselves towards the bitter side, other to the brighter side. In context, we are looking at rationalism from a behavioural standpoint... i.e. how people react to the same situation given their chosen or perhaps inherent approaches to life. Like all philosophical indoctrinations, rationalism has its flaws... It lacks emotion, whereas the two polar opposites of pessimism and optimism are highly tainted by their flair on the emotional spectrum. However in weighing up these comparisons, we are doing so without including the spiritual demeanor, as religious beliefs do indeed play a quintessential part in sculpting the ego. Actually... It's ignorant to conclude that there are only three 'isms' on the emotional scale...

In fact, if I were more knowledgeable, an astute man such as myself would elucidate every single 'ism' and assess the impact on the human commodity... But doing that is stupid, and pointless... Like this blog. Why?

...Simply because people get so lost within themselves that they seek to ascribe themselves to every single 'ism' in order to feel like they have a purpose. I'm talking about the people that in doing so preach to you in their utter disillusionment... Fucking wake up and take a step outside of yourself, the lot of you... I could not give a shit if you've found your new 'path' in life because you recently skim-read a book on buddhism or existentialism while smoking weed. You are as shallow, and as pathetic as the beliefs you condone or condemn. It's all rubbish and the answer to all of your big questions lies right underneath your nose, in black and white... Stop being a dick and you might achieve something within yourself. Even you know that your substance induced philosophical journeys are all pretence... And what about the people who write that garble? Seriously man, is there any need to get a Masters in psychology or philosophy just so you can punch out another abysmal book on equilibrium or epistemology when it's already been done before? Let alone sell your bullshit to the malleable minds seeking life's 'answers' when you're merely capitalizing on the consumer's fragile state of emtional disconnection. It's all the same really, Self-help clinics, bible readings, cult-phenomenon such as Scientology, spiritual guides, Tarot cards, clairvuoyants and other bogus gimmicks that people consume, and consume, and consume...

Why is it that you need people to tell you how to think and how to feel? Because you don't... No-one does. What's the old cliche? ..."Life is a journey of self-discovery"? - Key word, SELF. Search into your own soul, if you believe you have one, and stop being so fucking gullible and sheepish... Otherwise, for someone 'uniquely human' you're going to end up like over 90% of people on this Earth... A senseless, transperant person. No-one knows who they are when they're brought into this world, but that doesn't mean you have to de-rail the life you built up to go ravaging through the slightly variated philosophies of world cultures...

I respect people's beliefs, and by no means do I question them at all... But I respect it more when people have a backbone, believe in themselves and don't preach to me when they lack substance.

Productivity is a Powerhouse... Like me and my huge muscles.

I'm at work right now, needlessly skimming over the profiles of other bloggers looking to put into action my own aspirations of actually posting something for once... I've realised that I really don't give a shit about writing stuff of critical spontaneity... Well, going out of my way to do it anyway. If something pisses me off in future, no doubt I'll post it... But in the meantime get used to the cliché 'daily life' post that's gonna keep my mind fresh and perspicacious...

The potential of blogging networks is unsubstantiated... they are constructive and engaging... unlike the rest of the internet, aside from http://www.lolcats.com/ which pwns at life.

Anyway, the past chain of events have brought about the following developments... Uni is back which is good I guess because I'm coerced into some sort of routine-like structure of things... The only thing I didn't miss about uni though is those trains... god-damn... oh yeah and the copious amounts of study that I fail grasp..

My new-semester resolution is to not fail anything... And in saying that, perhaps I got the most valuable piece of advice humanly possible from my marketing tutor who I've known for about 2 minutes... "Aim as high as possible, and you can't fail..." somewhat true, but then when the advice was reiterated by a semi-drunken substitute marketing lecture with a manicured mullet and a knack for incorrectly assuming that everyone is a dumbass but himself wrote on the overhead... "Fail to Plhn, Plan 2 faill" -- I kind of lost faith in the old cliché.

I'm liking the economics subject... Putting aside the fact that my understanding of the graphical element is about as comprehensive as my understanding of Egyptian hieroglyphics, it has a real philosophical side to it... That, and it's application is unlimited across all facets of a capitalist society. Also, it gives me more ammunition against the wrath of the Rudd... As my understanding of eco grows, his credibility decreases.

Because I'm being boring and all... Here are some shitty phone pictures of my office and shiz... Just because I can... It's uhhh... my office (lame)

...And some snaps from my school's 10 year anniversary (it turned 10, I didn't graduate 10 years ago... I'm still 19 for christs' sake.):

Anyway I'm about done for today... Going to see the X-Files on Friday so that should be aiight... I think I'm going to have a booze free weekend. After the school reunion last weekend and me running a muck in the catholic club (which resulted in me puking the next morning) in Campbelltown I think I won't be touching beerskiis for a while...


Later.

Intellectual Ineffectual

Soooooooo... It seems as though I haven't posted a blog in a while... Given the fact that I've been treading water for the past month or so and feeling the burn, I think that I might just keep my head above the water this time. When I say intellectual ineffectual, I mean that I think uni might be getting the better of my tired 'ol brain. A lot like everyone else... It seems as though we all under-estimated it, especially accounting.

Hopefully, and i say hopefully, yesterday will forever be remembered as the day i conquered such a burden of a subject. Speaking of yesterday, some good times were had. Wraps to Lenny whose conventional ways got me abused by some hobo because I was giving him shit for walking down a short flight of stairs while Xander, Angelo and myself took the esculator.

"OI Lenny why are you taking the stairs man??? As if you'd take the stairs... What the fuck!"

Some random guy ascending past me on the esculator "Leave him alone, if he wants to walk the stair let him. At least it's good for your health... You should have more respect for... rabble rabble blah blah blah" *rest of abuse was muffled by his beard*

Some weird people out there man.

Oh, and Lenny's impression of the voice-over on the train station platform:
"The train on platform 18 goes to... your mum. First stop... her pussy..."

Ahh yeah and cheers to Xander who chucked a used plastic fork at my eye on the train. I wasted so much money yesterday... Mainly on booze, food and the arcade. But on the plus side at least I'm getting some ownage on House of the Dead 4.

Wanna see something mindblowing? try and solve the riddle of this site's existance:
http://http://www.relpats-eht.com/

Yeah I actualy don't have much to say at the moment... My mind is pretty sedate so I've got nothing constructive to say or do. So I'll just sign off and continue listening to Powerman 5000. Ha.


Peace.

Coping with senality.

It is now when I reflect upon the preceding events of today, and the weekend that I have come to the grandiose realisation that all old people, are dicks. To them, when it comes to the culture and customs of the younger generation, we are devoid of all manners, all integrity, self-respect and appreciation. Well, if what they say is true then I believe that the younger generations should live up to the perceptions of the elderly - that we are: menacing, dysfunctional, apathetic, rude and disrespectful.

Harsh you say? Not really... In my opinion (beware, I'm about to make a generalisation) young people (like me) are sick and tired of their awful social graces. It's the simple stuff that pisses me off... For example, last weekend my girlfriend Laura (25 years old) and myself (19 years old) were unloading the luggage out of my car after a long road trip to Jenolan caves. An old fella was walking out of the hotel just as Laura was approaching the extremely heavy wooden doors with arms so full of gear that she could barely lift them. The old man makes eye contact with her, she smiles at him politely, eagerly awaiting his gesture of gentry. At this point, he proceeds to release the door and ignore her completely; the end result being the door slamming in Laura's face and forcing her to put all of her luggage down and open it herself (unnecessarily). We proceed into the lobby, inevitably full of old people having a weekend away. We're waiting in line to be served behind a gentleman who insisted on taking 20 minutes to fill out a form that was literally only three lines long. ARGH!!!!!!!!!

Which leads us to today. As usual on a Monday, I set about my trek home starting at Central station. I had been seated in the same bench-seat for about 20 minutes. Slowly, the seats beside me began to fill up as more people congregated around the platform. One seat left, and it appeared to create some sort of bitter dog-fight between a rotund woman, and a 60 year old, whom despite her small stature and frail visade, turned out to be quite fit and healthy. I sat there... watching them stride over from opposite sides. The large woman had clearly eyeballed the seat first, as she was further away... She was moving at a casual pace, but she didn't see the need to sprint to a vacated seat. Enter the old woman...

Eyeing off the seat at the last minute, and I kid you not, there was a millisecond in this photo finish... She darted over, sly and agile like a fox and flopped on to the seat just as the woman was positioning herself to sit down. It was fucking rude.

Before I could get up to offer the large woman my seat, she had already uttered a snide comment to the old woman and waddled off into the hustle and bustle of the peak hour crowd. I felt like saying something to the old witch, who proceeded to put her bag on my side of the fucking arm-wrest (despite my arm being there), digging through her plastics for fairy cakes. Yeah, you know the irony, this hag supposedly made up of sugar and spice and all things nice wasn't so sweet. She was bitter, and satisfied that she had gotten her way over a 30 year old fat woman.

Fuck you, old people. If you want to be bitter about your old age, so be it. Just don't whinge and complain when karma bites you deservedly in the arse for all of your geriatrics. There are many elderly men and women who I respect and admire, however it is the minority that influences my generalisation - and it's sad. Not all young ones are monsters, you know. From this day forward I will be presumptuous in all of my encounters with elderly people in public.

Perhaps I have just encountered 'rude people' that aged.... Too bad. The die has cast and old people suck until proven otherwise.


Peace.

Commuter condescension

Okay, so today I'm on my way home from uni in a fairly pleasant mood... My goals for the day were accomplished, the weather was perfect and a heightened sense of human dignity was ripened by the polite conduct of people I was bumping into. No hostility, just happy little commuters making the trek to and fro beneath the tunneled labyrinth of Central station. "Oh shit, I only have a twenty dollar note... Looks like I'll have to stand in the teller line and get a one-way ticket from that happy looking Indian man in the booth." ...And so I stood, waiting for my ticket.

The gent in front of me (and when I say gent, I only say this colloquially), appeared to be a neat and tidy human being who seemed calm about his business. His attire was that of a Real estate agent, his strong cologne resembled that of an over-scented business 'exec' from somewhere near Martin Place. With my copy of 'Mx', I waited patiently for him to approach the polite Indian man in the ticket booth whilst I skimmed through the latest head-lines, eagerly awaiting my ticket transaction. ....And that's when it happened.

My renewed faith in the common good of human beings was stabbed in the heart by the vampirical stake of condescension and arrogance.

Exec: "One single ticket to Hornsby please."

Nice ticket man: "No problem Sir, have a nice day"

Exec: "Ummm, excuse me but you have me two five cent pieces... Give me a ten cent piece."

Nice ticket man: "I'm sorry Sir but I don't have any ten cent coins to give you"

Exec: "But they're right there, I want one of those... Fucking give me a ten cent coin!"

Nice ticket man: "I'm sorry Sir, but I need these coins. These coins are not being dispensed."

Exec: "What's your name you fucking idiot, I'm going to report you to your manager!!"

Nice ticket man: "Uhh.. I-I-I'm sorry Sir but City Rail staff are not allowed to give out their names to the public."

Exec: "Do you really want to lose your 'high and mighty' job as a ticket dispenser mate...? Give me the fucking ten cent coin, or else I'm going to personally see to it that you lose your stupid little job over this you asshole!"

Nice ticket man: "I'm sorry Sir but there is nothing further I can do... I have given you the right amount and have explained to you why I can not give you a ten cent piece"

Exec: "Ok, fine. Enjoy your crappy little job while it lasts fuckwit, I'm reporting you to management"

Nice ticket man: "...F-F-Fucking asshole."


Now, once I had scooped my jaw up off the floor, still in disbelief that a man had squandered and threatened somebodies' livelihood over not receiving a ten cent piece for a perfectly valid reason - I felt physically sick in the stomach. Did that condescending business exec. guy understand the implications of a job loss to some people? The fact that the ticket man could have been a father, or supporting a sick sibling, or just trying to get on his feet with an honest, demanding customer service job for Christs' sake...? And if he is as important as he makes out to be, why the fuck would he, let alone ANYONE in their right mind be in the throes of a quandary over a near-worthless piece of currency? Cool your jets. I honestly don't understand people at times (especially assholes), but after witnessing that charade and blatant disregard for another person's dignity I hereby declare myself officially emancipated from the scum that is the 'human race'.



Peace.

Smashing queens of the stone age

Although this week was jam-packed full of uni-assignment fun (and even though my life continues to be), I had one of the best weeks I've had in a long time with many thanks to the Smashing Pumpkins and the events at V festival '08.

It all started with the Smashing Pumpkins show at the Hordern Pavilion on Thursday night, where Billy Corgan graced the stage with his space-alien like stature. They warmed the crowd with 'Porcelina (of the vast oceans)' and then hammered through a montage of songs from the new 'Zeitgeist' album. 'Tonight, Tonight' had me up in arms, as did 'Mayonaise', 'Everlasting Gaze, the' and 'Bullet with butterfly wings'. Once again, the feeling of being 10 feet away from one of your rock idols is perpetually mind-blowing. It was an awesome re-union and I'll definitely be seeing them again in future.

V festival was the most fun I've had in a long time... It started at central, where me and Laura met up with Tay who was drinking a bottle of Jimmy alone in the middle of the park across from Eddy Avenue. We talked for a while, watched Tay get drunk of his tits until Squeak and Baana showed up with a bunch of lager-louts who I'd never met before in my life. Before we set about on our travels my intention was to load up on Dutch-courage at a Sydney pub before we boarded the bus in order to save some money (it costs $8.50 for one shot of jagermeister at the festival...) but those efforts were in vain because the lager-louts took off without me, Laura, Squeak and his woman Amy.

By the time we got to centennial park my senses were ablaze, and to top it off I decided to meet with half-of a friend named 'pill' who created this incendiary buzz throughout my veins about 3 hours into the fun. At the festival I met Griggsy and gang, but we all decided to go our separate ways to see our bands of preference. 'Modest Mouse' sucked, I must say... And so did 'AIR'. Queens of the Stone Age came on at 6 to blow everyone's minds, except the only let down was the acoustics. A brief stint watching Duran Duran and then I was ready to see the Pumpkins in all of their godly glory again. I missed Presets, though I'll probably see them eventually.

Upon walking through the dark, shadowy crowd I tripped on this stupid girl who was sitting in the middle of the masses. She looked at me in disgust as I said "Oh my god man I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there I hope you're ok!!" Even though she accepted my apology with a hi-five her friends were yelling shit at me as if I'd done something wrong. Well, sorry ladies, I'm afraid sitting on the ground in the swaying masses of the mosh pit ain't the wisest move.

The train ride home sucked though, seeing as the night trains stop at EVERY stop along the line on the way home. Oh yeah and to top it all off someone had urinated in the carriage and there was a young couple having sex a few rows behind where we were sitting. Yeah, HAVING SEX ON A TRAIN AFTER SOMEONE HAD CLEARLY BAPTIZED THE CARRIAGE WITH THEIR GOLDEN GOOSE FLUID. Some people, hey? Gross.

Oh yeah, and I'm going to join the NIN front-line finally (meaning I'm paying to become a member of 'the spiral' fan club). I came about this revelation after my liasison with a guy who met Trent Reznor through the fan club, not bad eh?



Mark.

Lower your inhibitions and fucking entertain me

What is it about 'bogains'? What is it about their senslessness, their lack of thought and their ability to recklessly abandon social etiquette, particularly on public transport systems...? I thought about this the other day on the train, when a dishevelled looking 19 year old woman boarded the train with her 30 year old husband and two sons at Macquarie fields train station (No, I didn't stutter... TWO!). The family sat there, cussing at anything and anyone who dared to look at them the wrong way... I couldn't understand what could possibly compel them to verbally tear apart anything and anyone that crossed their path...

"Sit the fuck down Riley!" ... "Awww look at this ugly cunt walking past, kids look at 'im!", shrieked the woman in the most nasal voice possible. I sat there behind them.. My lip would curl every time words dribbled from each of their mouths. It was then I looked out the window and actually smirked at what they were laughing at... This old man was walking past the window at Minto station. He had no shirt, was lathered in sweat, no teeth and to top it off his ass-crack was hanging out of his slacks. As he hobbled along carrying his plastic bag full of empty VB bottles, I watched as the woman (mother of two) leaned out the window as the train started moving and yelled "Hey fat-boy, put a fucking shirt on and pull your pants up!! Kids, get me a fucking coin so I can throw it at 'is money-box!!"

Bogains make the train rides fun. In my head, that is the only logical explanation as to how they are not yet extinct as a species. Looking at them, it just makes you wonder how someone could become such a person...? But i'm not gonna debate the whole nature versus nurture bullshit here, I know there are many people who are unwillingly or inavoidably brought up in wrongful circumstances... I'm not really arguing a point, so just agree that bogains make great comedic fodder and alike the purpose of the common fly in the insect world, they serve no purpose but to provide a small amount of humourous sustenance to the ever-inflating ego.

To that stupid teenage mother who boarded the Macarthur train at Macquarie fields, thanks for brightening my shitty day and I look forward to more laughably grotesque bogain encounters.


Peace.

Looking back on the beginning

This year kicked off with a bang, as usual, when the clock struck midnight on another unplanned new years eve in which I spent the count-down in a car driving home on the way back from the shittest club event ever, musing upon my maladroit behaviour and arrogance on a night that was supposed to be big. Two minutes into 2008 and I had already managed to piss off my woman with my dogmatic temperant, all because I couldn't see the "fun" in spending NYE in a night club fulll of douche-bag goths clicking their heels to brainless nu-metal -- Ironically, you have to question who the cynic really is in this situation...

Going into January I had no idea what to expect, and quite frankly I was petrified of what lay ahead of me in the proceeding month -- I wouldn't have a job, and I'd need a shit-load of money to kick-start my life as an official uni bum. Strangely enough, the end of January was awesome... I went to Big Day Out Melbourne for fuck's sake!! (And for all those who have never been, it's definitely something you've got to experience -- though mind you, last year's was better)...

By the time I reached February, my full-time position with Atico was rolling to a close and everything seemed to be losing momentum... I started uni in early March and I didn't know what to expect... I knew no-one, and it seemed as though my tertiary expeditions would be entirely solitary. Things picked up though, and I started meeting a shit-load of people. I also went and saw Mindless Self Indulgence for the first time ever, but Laura and myself were kind of disappointed that no-one else came with them (such as The Birthday Massacre) but I can honestly say it was one of the most electrifying shows I've seen to date (aside from the likes of NIN, Muse and 30 Seconds to Mars)... Jimmy Urine is literally like a punk rock Willy Wonka, he waltzes on stage with a purple cane and a tailored jacket, hair-style emulating that of a sea urchin and this intense energy that I can't begin to describe in words... Want to know why I'm ranting about this? Because Laura and myself got to fucking meet the guy after the show, and yeah I got a hug, hahahaha... It was almost as exciting as the time I got to meet Jared Leto *gloat* but yeah I'll stop now...

Fuck uni. It's gotten to a point where I'm in a zombified state of functionality. The course content is merciless and if you fail to keep your head above the water you'll quickly find yourself inundated with weeks and weeks of catch-up work... This means folks, more caffeine, less sleep and more tension. Who else feels like they're losing their hair at uni...?

Anyway, I'm done here... This blog from now on is going to be nothing more than a vessel of constructive thought application, it's purpose being to enlighten anyone who gives a shit enough to read it and also to distract me from the lurid temptations of devilish social networking sites such as myspace and facebook... And don't worry, my future posts won't be so plain, haha.

Peace.